Ephesians 3:20
It’s been a while since I last touched base here on my blog, and today I feel the need to pour out my thoughts and what I believe God has been speaking to me. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing some things that feel beyond the natural. They’re deeply connected to the things I’ve been praying for over the past month. One of them is for some people I truly care about, that they would come to know Jesus personally and walk in a closer relationship with Him. Another is a prayer about continuing my studies to the next level in a place I believe God is leading me to.
Last week, something strange happened. On early Monday morning around 3 a.m., I got sick all of a sudden. I couldn’t sleep at all the night before, and then came this sharp, needle-like pain in my stomach. It would show up randomly, last for a few seconds, then go away, and then come back again. I felt incredibly weak and sweaty, and no matter how much I prayed, the pain didn’t leave me.
The day before I got sick, my mom messaged me saying she had a dream about me. In her dream, I was walking on a wooden bridge and almost fell, but a man caught my hand and saved me. I told her not to worry because that man must be Jesus, and after that, she was rest assured.
Back to the morning I got sick, I kept praying and asking God to take away the pain, but it didn’t stop. I had no choice but to show up at work because there was an important meeting with a client and I had a responsibility to be there. I barely had the strength to walk, but I went anyway. As soon as I saw my senior manager, I told her I needed to go to the clinic on the lower ground before our meeting. By God’s grace, I managed to survive the whole meeting while holding the pain inside. It was honestly the most painful trip home I’ve ever had after work.
When I got home, I ate something, took my medicine, and spent more time in prayer than usual until I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up without any pain, only with some leftover sensations reminding me of what I had experienced. I took a sick leave that Tuesday and spent the entire day in my room resting. I just stayed there quietly, listening to the audio Bible, praying, and letting God restore me.
What I learned is that spiritual warfare isn’t just a feeling or a thought. It can affect your physical body too. But if God is with us, no weapon formed against us will prosper.
“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the Lord. (Isaiah 54:17)
The following Sunday, five days later, I went to church and felt refreshed again. It was as if I had finally returned to the normal me, spiritually and physically. But even after all that, I realized I’m still in the middle of a waiting season. My prayers haven’t all been answered yet. I’m still waiting for those people I’ve been praying for to receive Jesus. I’m still waiting for a specific door to open related to my studies, an opportunity that I strongly believe God has already secured for me. Deep in my spirit, I can sense that it’s done. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s as if the answer has already been sealed in heaven, and I’m just waiting for it to be revealed on earth.
But the reality is, my flesh isn’t always in agreement with my spirit. Some days I have complete peace and trust. Other days, I feel anxious and impatient. I keep checking for updates, wondering if I’m being too hopeful, or if I heard God wrong. That tension between my spirit and my flesh has been very real.
And just when I was navigating through that inner conflict, God began to speak to me through three verses. I didn’t go looking for them. They came to me, and the message became clearer each time.
1 Kings 17:14 - “The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.”
This verse reminded me that God doesn’t wait for the circumstances to look perfect before He provides. He sustained the widow during a drought, not after it ended. Her flour and oil lasted because she acted in faith even when it didn’t make sense. That speaks so clearly to my situation. Even in this season of uncertainty, God is still sustaining me, and He will continue to provide until His perfect timing comes to pass.
John 20:29 - “Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’”
This hit me gently but firmly. I haven’t seen the full picture yet, but I still believe. And that kind of faith, believing without seeing, is what Jesus calls blessed. It reminded me that it’s not about having physical evidence, it’s about trusting the One who never breaks His promises.
So if you’re in a waiting season like I am, hoping, believing, but still wrestling, I want to encourage you. It’s okay if your flesh sometimes feels weak. Just keep choosing faith. Keep declaring His promises. Keep trusting that He is working behind the scenes.
Ephesians 3:20 - “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”
His power is already at work within me, even while I’m still waiting. I’m preparing myself, because I believe He is about to take me to a place I can’t even fathom or imagine surpassing my understanding.
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